Kat's Poetry Pile

the blue labcoat i wear when i smoke cigarettes

thank you PGI™
Nomex™ labcoat, new old stock
The best PPE


the blue labcoat
made of a flame retardant aramid
my chem department issues them
but the ones in my lab stink
like piss and shit

so for Christmas
my sophomore year,
i went out and purchased
my aforementioned
PGI nomex labcoat

purchased off of
Ebay for 35 dollars
a bargain deal for
such a great
labcoat

a vintage cut
loose sleeves
and a slit in each side
so you can stick
your hands in your pockets

i look professional in it
cause back then looking good
mattered as much as
being non-flammable
and providing adequate protection


saving my clothes
from acids and organics
keeping me warm
when the lab AC is
turned down a little too cold

it's kept the carcinogens
out and away from me
and kept me company
though long days
and longer nights

so tired.
so, so, tired.
you can tell who's
writing an honors thesis
and who's having a damn good time

not trapped in a hell
of their own volition
love it or hate it
stuck with it until
a defense, and freedom

sad, tired eyes
framed in pale flesh
and i fucking stink
of carcinogens
some from the lab

and others for fun
as i pull out
the pack of cigarettes
from the breast pocket of the labcoat
walk 25 feet away from the

entrance of the science building
take out a lighter
pick out a cigarette
light the end
and take a drag


bliss.
it's different from the
nicotine replacement
products i take
in lieu of stimulants

im wired on those
but on cigarettes
a break from my carcinogenic lab
and into the fresh air
of carcinogens into my lungs

take a drag
watch the end burn
a few millimeters closer
taste the acrid smoke
and the awful taste

the lab coat protects me
as it's designed to
though i don't think
that cigarette ashes
were what the PPE was designed around

aura farming on one hand
killing myself slowly on the other
joyous misery, miserable joy
i will quit smoking
once i am freed


i love my lab coat
accompanying me to
smoke my cigarette