homesick
the leaves fall
and the nights grow
long and bitterly cold
and in times like these
i think of my home
i don't think of home
but in the stillness and
stress of my year
perhaps i do wish for
a quiet place to return
a nostalgia for a past
that i never cherished
so long had i yearned to be
independent, and perhaps
free
that i never realized how good
it was to be somewhere where
worries evaporated away
in a yellow-painted room
surrounded by old yet familiar
furniture, but even still is this
a yearning for a past?
or is a deep call to rest?
i'm alone again, but
i feel as if i can't call
where I am home; despite
what my college claims as its
slogan. i've grown isolated
and if i stay isolated
then why bother being here?
I am immensely grateful for
my friends, of course
but in the quiet, empty nights
i think of home; with all its flaws
i just wish for somewhere where
entropy can't find me
and i don't need to worry.
for the first time since coming
to my college
i'm homesick
even if it means packing away
the present self
and wearing the skin of a dead man
its still my home
and they're still my family
bound by blood
bound by heritage
bound by tradition
bound by food
i wait for the train
that will take me home