Kat's Poetry Pile

Act IV: Sidequest

my research ground to a halt
i blamed myself
but i found that nobody could
get it to work
even the best and brightest of

my lab group.
and in hindsight it
kinda made sense
but i had not internalized
that science was collaborative

and i was the lone wolf
so isolated from
everything and everyone
until the summer
and sidequest

that changed my life
a domino-effect
which started with a hexanes shortage
so the department chair told
my PI

who told me
to set up a still
and do research
on reclaiming
waste eluents

i became an
analytical chemist
that summer
developing methods
tinkering with the gas chromatograph (GC)

my little sidequest was
not spent alone
science is collaborative
and i spent lab meetings
dodging questions from the

other PI in the research group
the organic lab that had
all the nicest things
and their students were
superstars

and i had a crush on
the blond-haired girl with tired eyes
who went to Harvard for her PhD

but i woudn't tell her, or
anyone, since i was busy

building a contraption
an incredibly efficient still
and still recovering
from the mold poisoning and my heartbreak
locked in on the side quest

no more organic research
i wanted to work with instrumentation
and i was afraid to talk with
the instrument director
about my GC troubles

by the end of the summer
i had reclaimed 40 liters
of eluents, saving thousands of
dollars, and realizing
that i could just...

switch fields
a life-changing decision
and one that would
set up my path forward
as a technician

I ended the summer, excited for the year ahead. I was not ready.

[go back to the root poem]