Kat's Poetry Pile

signal to noise ratio

there are days where
i wake up exhausted
and dragged through a
mental mud and slop
where i can't even think

signal to noise ratio
abbreviated to SNR
is a term used to describe the
average signal divided by
the average noise

and the better this figure is
the better the resulting image
a known quantity in some devices
and arbitrary in others
but the amount of static haze

is directly proportional to
this unitless figure
so i go about my day
and the fog clears
but not the exhaustion

despite having nothing
to make me exhausted;
i'm still so tired
craving rest
cut out the signals of life

leave the noise
sitting empty in my
mushed-up brain
i measure the noise
and perhaps i realize

that my SNR has gone down
more noise than signal
an uninterpretable mess
of exhaustion, delusion
and apathy

it's her again.
why is she here
why can't i focus
why are my mental optics
losing their resolution

the noise grows louder
instead of rotting
i procrastinate
washing my future away
in a sea of desperate poetry

perhaps i should get back to work
but maybe i'm burning out
driven too hard, maybe
but inexplicably worn down
this time for no good reason

maybe i do need to be medicated
but i'm starting to lose weight
and my appetite seems to wane
as i burn the days away
and the joys of life sublimate away

i don't know if it's a
cry for help; or at least
a break since it appears
im falling behind my peers
though maybe it's just how i feel

low SNR