white phosphor lamentation [CW]
Content warning: descriptions of arousal, sex, and sex acts, descriptions of blood, descriptions of eating disorders, depictions of self harm, depictions of substance abuse, explicit suicidal ideation, and explicit transphobia.
At the time of writing, I was in the midst of severe, untreated depression, and trapped in a home that I did not want to be in. At time of publication, I am doing quite well, and feeling a lot better since I moved out for graduate school.
This is one massive vent-piece that i'm not gonna bother sanitizing or separating into individual poems. Maybe in the future I will re-release some of them.
If this collection of poems makes you uncomfortable, or triggers something, PLEASE close this page and discontinue reading, because I don't want you to hurt over an internet poem. You are loved.
— Kat
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white phosphor lamentation is the full, unabridged collection of poems i wrote when I was trapped in my childhood home and struggling with worsening untreated depression. It has 14 poems:
depravity
blame
saying goodbye
appetite suppression
pain
i can't fucking sleep anymore
friends!
the emptyness
pain2//bloody tears
leaving marks
miss//gendered
dissociation
why do cigarettes feel so good?
Heisenberg's uncertainty principle
some of these will be re-released in the future, possibly sanitized when i can scrape together the effort to do so.