_girlfailure
this is a sanitized poem in a series (3/3). For the full, unabridged series CLICK HERE
everything fucking hurts.
i can't sleep
i've lost my appetite
and i find myself dissociating
often, and for longer and longer
feeling the melancholy weigh me down
moving is hard
every little action becomes strenuous
all i just want is
to
lay down
and
rot
my room is a mess. it's been a
mess, since the time i moved back from
williamsburg, and i dumped all my moving
bags in the center of the room
and figured i'd deal with it
later.
my apathy burdens others
ive never felt more worthless
in my life before
no hometown friends
no job
nothing
the fun is drained
out of everything i love
i miss my college friends so much
friends, and friends with benefits
and i've become so hopelessly clingy
to the point where i think im
definitely making people uncomfortable
and i'm pushing my friends away
rotting feels too good
let the pain chew through my body
like maggots gnawing on flesh
in my own misery i sit
shuffle around, from my room
to the bathroom
to the kitchen
to the couch
and back to my room
the girlfailure nest
clutter strewn across the floor
all over my desk
my couch and my bed
unusuable
full of shit
an insurmountable mountain to climb
every day i clean a little
and yet it remains a mess
bogged down by the red tape
of deciding what to keep or what to chuck
and where to store all of my crap
spiraling into oblivion
i curl up on my floor
surrounded by tools and stationery and cleaning products and garbage and cables and and and and and and and and and and and and and and.......
i weep, and slip into unconsciousness