_ultradepression
this is a sanitized poem in a series (2/3). For the full, unabridged series CLICK HERE
TERMINAL VELOCITY
HIT THE GROUND HARD
BROKEN HEART
BROKEN MIND
BROKEN BODY
FLAIL WILDLY BETWEEN
INSOMNIA AND HYPERSOMNIA
AGONY EITHER WAY
SO FAR FROM GOD
SURVIVAL AT THE BOTTOM
OF THE PIT OF DESPAIR
DOESN'T MATTER IF I TRIPPED AND FELL
OR WAS FORCED STRAIGHT DOWN AS
DIVINE PUNISHMENT FOR MY TRANSGRESSIONS
HANGING, DEAD, EYES
NO FEELINGS LEFT
BUT MELANCHOLY
NOT THE PRETTY KIND
THE UGLY KIND
THE KIND THAT SMELLS
AND LEAVES A MESS
DIRTY AND COVERED IN SWEAT AND GRIME
FILL THE ROOM WITH MOLD AND TRASH
FLAYED BODY TRAILING VISCERA
WAKE ME UP SO I CAN FEEL
OR LEAVE ME COLD SO I NEVER WAKE AGAIN
IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER ANYMORE
BRIEF SPURTS OF ECSTASY
THAT ONLY END IN BREAKING DOWN CRYING
HEADACHE
ABDOMINAL CRAMPING
HUNGER PANGS
FULL BODY PAINS
CHAINED HERE
TO THIS HELL
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
CRASH OUT, LASH OUT
HURT EVERYONE YOU LOVE
AND CURL UP
KNOWING YOU DO NOTHING
BUT BURDEN OTHERS
THERE IS NO. WAY. OUT
stop.
please.
it will get better!
i promise
even if you don't believe it now
don't leave
a life you fought so hard to save
clawed out that stupid fucking hole
thrice now make it a fourth
i miss you, kat
please come back
SELF PRESERVATION
ARREST THE FALL
KEEP UP THE BARE MINIMUM
I MAY NOT WANT TO LIVE
BUT I DO NOT WANT TO DIE!
LIVE FOR TEN MORE MINUTES
MINUTES TO HOURS
HOURS TO DAYS
DAYS TO WEEKS
WEEKS TO MONTHS
MONTHS TO YEARS
I WILL CRAWL OUT OF THIS FUCKING HOLE
SO HELP ME GOD
but im so tired.
so tired, and i can't rest
everything fucking hurts
roll over and cry once more
i don't know anymore
all i know is
i need to stick around
for my friends
for my family
for myself